2010 Junior League Draft/Auction

6 hours of fun, for 6(plus months) action. Everyone gets an award.

Since I am unemployed, I have plenty of time to look over the rosters and make snide remarks. Remember, this is all in jest. No hard feelings.

The First Place Finish Award goes to, the Quatloos. I am pretty sure this is the second year in a row that you finished the auction first. I hope you got in a nice nap or something because you left $6 on the table. That money doesn’t carry over. I think this is the only 1^st place that you are getting, so enjoy.

Wildcat Award goes to, The J-Squad. Everyone was talking about the Wildcat offense the Dolphins busted out two years ago. That’s all people were talking about going into the season, and guess what, it was a bust. Same can be said of loading up on relievers. Yes, you may win saves and in theory you should have good ERA and WHIP, but it never works. Aside from King Felix, your starting pitching evokes memories of Anthony Young (http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/y/youngan01.shtml).

The Brien Taylor Award goes to, the Singhas.  Remember former #1 pick, Brien with an E? Never played in the majors, and had his mother for an agent. He did not live up to expectations, much like Rich Harden, Carl Pavano, Josh Hamilton, JD Drew, Delmon Young, and Kerry Wood. Maybe they will all have break out seasons this year.

The Anti He-Man Award goes to, JLDSMS. He-Man used to whip out his sword and say, “I have the power” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yeA7a0uS3A 33 second mark). Well, you have no power. When Russell Branyan is your biggest slugger, you may have a problem in home runs. CC Sabathia may be your best power hitter.

The Kim Zolciak Award goes to, The Milleranians. For those of you who aren’t forced to watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta, I will explain. Kim is a faked breasted, wig-wearing, liar. She is having an affair with a married man and she also released the greatest song ever (and by greatest, I mean worst), “Don’t Be Tardy for the Party” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsoS-RUEbqU). Yes, you were late. I am sure you have a good excuse, but you were still late.

The Blow Me (Off) Award goes to, the Creations. I really wanted to write up a league history and post it on my site. Since Jason seems to be the resident historian, I reached out to him a while back and he blew me off. So, thanks Jason for depriving everyone of a league history post. Also, your roster has a plethora of players who blow (E. Chavez, Andruw Jones, Pennington, Patterson and Valbuena).

The Separation of Church and State Award goes to, the Paleofites. Amazingly, you have only one Yankee on your main roster. Don’t you have season tickets to the Yankees? The only Yankee you have to root for is Vazquez, so anytime Yankee goes yard (and John Sterling spits out some ridiculous catch phrase) it wont be helping your team. Now, I am not saying this is a bad thing, I am just saying that it’s surprising.

The Sexual Innuendo Award goes to, Eisen Ears. You do have a guy named Wood and another guy named Hardy. Also, you have some other names that we can get creative with. Like, I took some Enztye and now I have Sizemore. That guy has an Ankiel fetish. Garko also sounds like something dirty.

The Best Potential Reality Show Award goes to, the Skyjackers. I am grasping for straws here, but I think a reality show with Shin-Soo Choo and Milton Bradley would be pretty amazing.  Bradley would complain about all his former teammates who hated him, while we wouldn’t even know if Choo understood him. As the season progresses, Choo and Bradley become best friends. Then is a sad twist, Choo gets summoned to the Korean Army and Bradley promises to write him every day.

The Senator Scott Brown Support Award goes to, The Horseman. One of the big reasons Brown won the special election was that the senior citizens got scared into voting for him. Fearing that Obama was going to take away some of their health benefits, the seniors voted heavily for Brown. Well, the Horsemen have seniors. Wakefield and Thome both played while Bush was in office, Bush 41. Mo is no spring chicken and Vlad is probably 56 years old.

A few final thoughts, how on earth did Alex Gordon go for $18? I think this was the worst buy in the auction. The best buy could be Mark Buehrle for $15.

Good Luck to everyone, except the Quats, Creations, Ears, J’s, Letters, Millers, Paleos, Singhas and the Jackers.

And remember, diamonds are forever and so are the 4 Horsemen.

Woooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!