Rick Rude and Tiger Crude

Recently, I saw the newest Star Trek movie. Thought it was pretty good, I liked how they explained the story. All of this happened because of time travel and parallel universes, and fun stuff like that.

Fast forward to this morning, and the Tiger Woods press conference.  He was contrite. Some say he was sincere, others say the opposite. Before it started, I kept thinking back to what someone else said (Bill Simmons, I believe), “wouldn’t it be cool if Tiger Woods turned heel”. So, sitting there, waiting for him to come out, I had a quick dream. It went a little something like this….

Before I go on, I guess I should explain some things for those who don’t get the lingo. In pro wrestling, the terminology for a good guy is, Face. A bad guy is a Heel. Sometimes the term Baby Face is used for the really good guys. Anyways, most wrestlers go from being Face to Heel, Heel to Face over the course of time.  One of the key ways for a wrestler to switch from Face to Heel (aside from an attitude adjustment) is to grow facial hair. Shawn Michaels was the king of this tactic. Another thing that needs to be stated is my dream took place in an alternate reality.

Friday, 2/19/10, 8AM Pacific Time (yeah, I had already been up for two hours, and I don’t even have a job). Also, this takes place in a parallel universe. Also, this wasn’t a friends only thing, this was a full fledge press conference.

With the audience packed with reports, Tiger Woods makes his first public appearance since this ordeal started.  Wearing a suite with no tie, and sporting a stubble beard, Tiger looks at his audience as he stands at the podium.

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I know, it’s already started, but forgive me, I needed some inspiration (USA up 1-0 over the Swiss after period 1).

I am not nearly the hockey fan I once was, but I certainly have a decent grasp on the league and know the stars. So here is my take…

Bronze- USA. You have to give it up to Brian Burke, he told the old guys, no thanks. Lots of less name value talent on this tea, like in ’80, he tried to put together the best team.  I will not pick against anyone with the last name Langenbrunner. USA getting the bronze would be a solid effort. They could even get the silver, but I think…

Silver- Finland. Yes, this pick is based on goaltending tandem of Backstrom and Kiprusoff. Sure the Finn’s lack the stars on the ice, but when you have that tandem, Finland will be in a lot of close games.

Gold- Canada. The home team is unmatched in talent. Every single forward is a serious threat. The defense is tough and two way. They have to be motivated as the home team. Sidney Crosby is playing as well as anyone in the world.  Ovechkin has lost the coveted status as best player. I don’t like to admit it, but it is true. Tack on, Heatley, Iginla, Marleau, Nash, Thornton and Toews!!!!!! Oh my. Just too much.  Patrolling the blue-line, Niedermayer and Pronger.  It will be interesting to see how long a leash Brodeur has. Not having his best year, and is aging. Wont play all the games and that gives Luongo an opening. Still, this is one of the greatest teams ever assembled. Perfect mix of young and old.  If they don’t win gold, it will probably be a blow to the reputation of several key plays.

USA up 3-0 int he 2nd.

Looking forward to this, hopefully no Bruins are injured. With their luck, Chara will break his foot.